Reflecting on my 2020 intentions

Saturday 21 November 2020

2020 was not the year we were expecting. 

The ever-optimistic Amber wrote these intentions in January without considering what was happening in the world. So I thought I would reflect on what I wanted from this year and where I actually got... 

1. Read 30 books, including Phillip Pullman's Dark Materials trilogy

As it stands, I am on book 22 of 30. Although I did absolutely ADORE 'His Dark Materials' I really lost my love for reading in the first lockdown. I lost all ability to concentrate and as much as I missed reading I just could not lose myself in a novel.  

As Autumn hit I started to find myself in books again but I am still nowhere near my target. Do you think I'll make it to 30 come December 31st? Stay tuned for a thrilling update! 

2. I feel like I've finally found my job for life and I intend to work my fucking arse off

I bloody love my job, not only am I proud to say that I am good at what I do but it is ultimately my passion. I get to write, be creative, challenge myself and take risks! All whilst telling brilliant stories for brands and driving search in the process. 

I am the type of person that no matter what you give me, I give it my all and I intend to stay this way. 

3. Write 1 or more blog posts a month

Well, this just didn't happen. 

I have pages of blog posts I want to write but similarly to reading that creative concentration just left me.

I was lucky enough not to be furloughed, but with everything else playing havoc with my mental health - everything I had went into work. 

4. Put more energy into creating and write more

Again, personal creation took a dive. Although craft-wise I made two crochet blankets and SOOOO many wordy cross stitches. So there was some! 

Something INCREDIBLE happened this year. When you start at Rise at Seven you submit a bucket list and once a year we announce a winner who gets to tick something off. One of the things on my bucket list was to finally write and publish a book. 

I won. 

Rise is supporting me in my journey and I hope to share it all with you too. It still shocks me that I won this amazing opportunity and just need to prioritise it! 

5. Make a dent in my unread books

This will forever be on my list. My unread books continually grow - I have a problem with saving beautiful books from charity shops. 

6. Go on more dates

Wow. This one. 

At the time of writing this, our lovely colleague Mark Rofe was setting up his 'Date Mark' billboard, and I was intent on putting myself out in the world too. 

I got tinder. I spoke to a guy who said all the right things, even down to the weird series I was watching, my favourite poem and even my love for malty sleepy beverages.  

We went on a date, dated, went official, lockdown settled and even started looking at places together. Then he ghosted me, among many other things that my little corner of the internet doesn't need. Either way, I put myself out there and I'm glad. 

I'm getting on a bit, my path isn't what I see so many friends following and I need to accept my trajectory is very different.

7. Wake up earlier

Slightly hit and miss. As my mental health dictates my sleeping pattern I feel like this is moot. 

Depressed and I sleep all the time, I cannot be alone with my own brain.
Anxious and I don't sleep. 

So with the resurgence of my hallucinations in lockdown too, waking up is irrelevant - sleep is important.

8. Find the courage to do more public speaking outside of Book Club

Everything came to a halt, and this is something I am still pants at. 

9. Book the tattoos, gigs and holidays I keep thinking about

Holidays didn't happen. But Boston/ Salem and Chicago for my 30th with a dash of My Chemical Romance are still on the cards. If it happens it happens. Taking rona news as it comes. 

In the short music year we had, I was lucky enough to Slipknot, While She Sleeps, Every time I Die, The Menzingers, Spanish Love Songs, Can't Swim and Counterparts. 

If you see any way to support the industry at the moment - do so. Be it buying a shirt or sharing a post. 

Although I did manage to squeeze in a matching tattoo with my soul mate and some finger tats. 

10. Make time for those quick cuppas, brunch dates and days out.

Done a little differently in 2020. 

I miss people, so many kind souls I miss in real life face to face cups of coffee days out. 

The energy I wanted for 2020 may not have come out in the ways I have intended it. But despite everything, it has been a good year. 

When I reflect on things, 2018 & 2019 were very hard years. So I am so full of love to look back on 2020 and see a year of strength, growth and positivity. 

Did you set intentions for 2020? How did they change? I want to know what people wanted for this year and how their priorities changed! 

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